November 19, 2009

update on sam pt. 3

The NICU is an interesting place. I've never been a place where there is so much raw, defenseless suffering yet simultaneously filled with so much love you can almost feel it on your skin. The nurses and staff are amazing. I don't know how they do it. As I held Sam this morning and watched some of the nurses, I could only surmise that it is a deep seated love that makes them stay strong. My emotions are already high having my son in the unit but it is hard to look at some of these babies and not just break down sobbing. Sammy is much more fortunate than many of them. In fact, he probably weighs 4 times as much, if not more, than most of them. If ever you could say someone doesn't deserve something, it is in that place. But at the same time they are loved in deep ways by family and staff. They love those little ones to health.

Late last night we didn't receive very good news about Sam. It seemed that his white blood cell count was rising, rather than going down. Which is a bad thing. This caused us a lot of anxiety and worry. But, this morning the count is down! Yes! If this continues it means the antibiotics that they are giving him are working. And we are hoping that this means he will come home sooner than later. At this point, it doesn't look like either Sam or Brooke will come home before Saturday. But you can hope and pray with us that they are released together on Saturday afternoon.

Brooke is doing well. This morning she turned a big corner on her recovery and it is getting easier to walk back and forth from her room to the NICU. She's eating [the food made out of plastic and high fructose corn syrup that they serve at hospitals] well and was able to take a shower this morning. The nurses and staff have all been wonderful... except for the cafeteria staff [fail].

Paige and Matt are having a hard time not being able to see Sam. Paige took it the roughest at first. She cried in my arms when I told them yesterday. But she's trying to be strong and is using her energy to make a big surprise for Mommy and Sammy when they get home (what could it be?!). Matt was really unsure about touching Sam the first time he met him. He's now having serious regret over that and just wants, "those shit heads to give me back my brother." The boy has a strong righteous anger streak... he get's it from his mother. He really wants Sam to be his best friend. They both just want him to get better and have both Mommy and Sammy at home.

Seeing my kids' heartache has been one of the hardest things for me. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay at the hospital today. I need to get some work done and I have an interview this afternoon for a much better paying job. You can pray that goes well too.

It's been rough. But we remain hopeful. Keep sending the notes and prayers. It has been very encouraging to Brooke. I'll bring her laptop to her later today so that she can respond to all your emails and facebook notes. It means a lot to her.

1 comment :

Jason_A_Coker said...

Post a Comment